Changing Leaves. Reflections, Paul’s Pre-K, Week 14

Autumn is definitely here. The trees in upstate New York are beginning to turn with the season. It’s always glorious. With Elizabeth in school, Paul and I have been able to get more done more often. We finished the fireflies unit (Unit 6) and went back to Unit 4: What do you do With a Tail Like This? with the Moving Beyond the Page curriculum. Paul has been interested in Spanish lately and we read the Spanish version of the book as well. I had thought about doing Unit 5 on leaves instead of going back to four but not enough leaves have fallen and I didn’t think that we would be able to get a good collection. Now I’m wondering if that was a good idea because it takes us so long to get through a unit and I’m not sure we will do it fast enough to be able to fit Unit 5 in before the Halloween unit. But, I guess it is what it is and I am committed now.

With Unit 4, we have been doing lots of activities looking at animal tails, describing them, and matching them to their correct animal. This is stuff that I love since I love the science. Paul has been hesitant to choose a favorite animal from the book but I am glad to broaden his horizons with information about some animals that he is not familiar with. That is the joy of homeschooling.

I also found the iHomeschool Network on Twitter and poked around their webpage. A few years ago they had different blogs in the network write up posts addressing reasons/excuses people give for why they can’t homeschool. The posts addressed how these families do exactly the opposite on a daily basis. Of course, I was reading the single-parent posts and those about parents that work full-time and still homeschool. It made me realize that I need to quit griping and moaning about being a single parent working full-time and just do the schooling.  I don’t need to lament that I wish I could homeschool – I am homeschooling – if we would actually do it! Yes, I do have to devote a lot of time to work and getting us to where we need to go, but that’s temporary and doesn’t have to be forever. Though I am unhappy with the daily grind of life right now, I think that overall, things have gone as they have needed to go. I wasn’t ready two years ago for things that I am preparing myself for now. I guess that’s just how it is – and that’s ok. I’ve learned things these past few years, things that I think I needed to know.

Now, I feel I am on the verge of change. The stress is too high, satisfaction too low. I don’t feel like I own my life, I feel like the rat race does. But even so, I am still homeschooling, it could not be said that I’m not. My intention is to wait until I have the cushion of my income tax return money next year to go freelance and put more energy into my blogs, but I must admit that today I was adding up the pennies in my accounts and wondering if that would be enough to get me through until the return comes in. I would like to stay at my job part-time for a while for different reasons but I don’t know if they will go for that as they prefer their employees not have additional jobs. But I feel so close to needing to move on that if they refuse it might not be enough to make me stay.

At any rate my heart will tell me when it is time. Sometimes I try to be still for a bit and just know. But I do know. I know I’m not happy. How long have I wondered why homeschooling was put into my lap just to be taken away.

There’s a quote by Albert Einstein that I have on a sticky note on my bathroom mirror and I think of it often:

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

Long I have pondered this quote – for years – wondering what it meant for me. If I dig, I find the answers. If I listen, I know the answers. I am homeschooling now. My heart tells me this is the neither the beginning nor the end of it. I’m going to give it my best shot to get back to it full-time. I love to write and I love to homeschool.

The turning of the leaves make me feel like maybe a change is due for me too, I will listen to the whisperings of the wind to know when the time is just right.

Clouds hanging over just the lake in the morning.

Share your thoughts: What changes does autumn bring for you this year?