There, that’s the first time since beginning our schooling adventure that I missed making a weekly post. I am sorry, to my readers – and to me – it’s very disappointing. But alas, so much is disappointing to me these days.
After going back and forth and back and forth in deciding to keep my marriage going, I just don’t think that I want to any more, and Chepe and I had our brief conversation about it today (which is much more than we have conversed over the whole week…) Though it’s ultimately my decision to separate/divorce, it’s incredibly depressing, and I have spent many days this week taking naps in the afternoon when Elizabeth and I would normally be doing our school. She has had a great time playing on the Homer app while I’m napping though, I think she may have almost finished all of the lessons from the way she speaks – at which time I can cancel my subscription and save $20 every three months!
The oddest feeling thing about it so much is that I have taken more naps in the past two weeks than I have in a year! It does feel incredibly weird. And I should be well rested, right?! Ha ha.
I have also started to walk right after I put Paul down for his nap. I hand Elizabeth the iPad and go and walk around our circle drive way for about an hour. Whereas before I didn’t feel like I could fit anything in, now it feels like I have so much time. (Maybe I’ll be able to get my book finished!) Probably I shouldn’t say I have so much time, I do have things I need to do but that I keep putting off, and a separation/divorce will involve time spent doing all the legal stuff and the free time will be replaced with working to support myself and the kids. Which actually, I don’t have any work yet – that’s scary, but I have made some movement forward with finding work, and am looking into a third option.
I totally plan to single-parent homeschool. I have all of the books. I recently talked to the president of the local homeschool group, only to find out that it is disbanding because they don’t have enough members. She did tell me one good piece of information: since Elizabeth will only be in kindergarten next year, I don’t have to file any paperwork with the school – like all those HIP plans detailing what curriculum you are using and such and such. Don’t have to do that until 1st grade, so that is in my favor and will help me out in my first year navigating as a single homeschooling parent.
I have done a little research into single parent homeschooling, it seems that it is possible, and the president of the homeschool group didn’t shoot it down. Actually, I’ve had doubts in my mind about the rationality of homeschooling even being married to Chepe; I just wondered about the lack of active support I received from him. He was supportive of me doing it, and supportive of me purchasing the materials, and of me being home, but he had little interest in helping or in what we were actually doing. I have conversed with other parents who talked about hitting a brick wall with their child in a certain subject, so they passed it onto their spouse because sometimes that change can make learning easier; I looked at this as an impossibility with Chepe. As well, I often felt like he couldn’t wrap his brain around the time I had to spend in planning and executing the schooling, which actually takes a chunk out of your day (and sometimes a good chunk out of your energy because you are being actively present in those hours), and said time and energy must be taken from somewhere else, like housework or dinner, or “me” time, or couple time. It is all a balancing act. I don’t know if I did a good job of it before, but I’m hoping that since I am aware of this fact, I will be able to balance it by myself.
At any rate, I am hopeful as much as quaking like a leaf. Divorce is hard, there’s no doubt about that. I want so badly to be able to continue homeschooling, but I am also not going to try to force a round peg into a square hole and will try to know my limits about when/if it is time to give up. There’s always also the possibility of sending the kids to school for a year or two before returning to homeschooling if necessary.
Share your thoughts: If you single-parent homeschooled, what is some advice you have for getting started and keeping it going over the long run? Or any other advice tied to single-parent homeschool will be greatly appreciated.